I have discovered I need two things to get to my dreams.
- To work on them.
- To do so, often.
This blog is an attempt to refine what I define as work.
I will also do this in a way that is uniquely me. A scary prospect. I hope to do my best at putting my full foot forward by giving the methodical, professional, funny, and deeply curious way I view life to a broader community that anyone following along can join in and grow as well.
Before I hit publish on this first blog, I spent a week in deep, flight or flight distraction mode because my subconscious knew what was coming.I knew I would be doing something challenging, and that others will be able to see my thoughts, judge them, and disapprove or worse, not care.
Then I spent 6 months doing all kinds of other things, fussing over the precise THEME on WordPress. A real piece of work, this one. I like it when thoughts stay in my head. It’s selfish and safe.
Finally, I wrote all the other words except for this line 3 months before this was actually published on a publicly viewable site, so I could line up other ducks in their rows. Meaning I am hoarding hardcore. “This pile of imaginary rubbish isn’t good enough”, he thought while pacing the floor. Nonetheless, here it is, online and shared.
I am not ready, but here it goes.
There is an arc to learning or starting a new thought or project. The beginning section is what I enjoy, the discovery. There’s a point in the middle where it’s going to get hard, this is usually when I jump ship. This whole practice is self indulgent, and not helpful to the rest of the world.
I have hopes for the transformative power of this forum of teaching and learning, but before transformation happens, I have to hit publish.
I find I am at my best as an actor when I am most vulnerable. That is what I will try to do, be vulnerable enough to show my work and move that work from the self-indulgent interesting thoughts into useful information and experiences for a broader community. At least broader than myself.